On sensuality and sexuality from Wedx at First Pres Boulder.
Welcome to Marriages Restored in Longmont, CO. Our marriage intensives support couples in battling through the question of divorce to a fulfilling marriage. It's just us and you for a challenging and freeing five days.
So a Baptist, a Pentacostal and a Reformed guy walk into a... Sure sounds like a joke doesn't it? It does, but it's actually the start of an amazing marriage conference where stories of deceit, addiction, infidelity, armed robbery and, oh by the way, profound Redemption are the order of the day. And this Redemption gives couples who may not be sure they still want to be married, or for most, how to work through significant betrayal and pain, this Redemption from 'Spiritual Leaders' gives them hope. The couples who attended gain hope that maybe their marriage isn't over and God isn't through growing them just yet.
And so it was in Concordia, MO this past weekend. Friday night a couple of pastors shared about their worst moments as men and husbands. The beauty of this is that God's grace shines brightly in their darkness. God didn't give up on them, their marriages or them serving others in His name. Their wives were equally courageous, authentic, sinful and delightful. Ann and I shared our horrifically beautiful story too.
My favorite moment from such a weekend comes from many choices. Sometimes it is just knowing that what we do gives many struggling couples hope for their future together. We're nothing special in the sense that we were majorly screwed up and now are a little less screwed up. Couples can say, "Wow, we have our stuff but so did they." This time, I could choose from reconnecting with John and Amber who went through a similar conference almost a decade ago and now were hosting their own, or the amazing lunch worth more than the conference fee, or Emily Russell's soulful music, or the hope on the curly redhead's face, or seeing hardened couples soften to one another. Any of those is great.
But my favorite moment happened in the parking lot during the break on Saturday morning. He talked to me while studying the asphalt.
He said, "I don't know. I've hurt her too much. It's not like just one time. Drugs, booze, other women. Maybe I'm wasting my time."
We talked more about upcoming 4th steps (fearless moral inventory) and 5th steps (sharing that 4th step with another human being.) I mentioned how this conference is like doing 4th and 5th steps on specific topics. We talked about their years together, hope and hopelessness.
And then I said, "Let's just say you've got a thousand steps to take. This weekend is taking four or five of those steps. Those are still steps in the right direction that need to be taken."
He took enough hope from those words to stay. I laid my hand on his shoulder and prayed for him feeling the unseasonable warmth of this January day on my back and in my heart. His anxiousness subsided and they worked through what they could work through over the weekend. Their work is far from over, but I look forward to hearing about their journey.
So thank you, John and Amber, for having us into your home and church. Your heart for the couples attending is inspiring. We are grateful for your trust and friendship.
Join us this Friday and Saturday for some marriage healing and growth at Concordia Baptist Church. We are excited to share time with our friends, John and Amber Cox on Friday night!
Not sure if you should attend, the worst that can happen is you'll hear a few powerfully redemptive stories and have plenty of meaningful conversation with your spouse.
Check out more at Concordia Baptist Church
Lots coming up for Marriages Restored.
Friday, Jan. 22nd Ben is speaking on sex at WEDx at First Pres in Boulder.
Friday Jan. 29th and 30th. Ben and Ann are leading a Marriages Restored Conference at
Concordia Baptist Church in Concordia, MO. Click on the picture for info and registration.
Friday Feb. 19-21st Ann is speaking at the All Souls Church of Boulder Women's Retreat. Any woman is welcome to attend. The event is being held at the YMCA in Estes Park. Click here to register
Our Book, Betrayed and Betrayer: Rescuing Your Marriage From the Affair will be out this year! We'll post more updates as we get closer.
As always we are available for Marriage Intensives if your marriage could use some healing and redirection.
Friday, January 22nd I am one of the speakers for WEDx. This special night for couples is modeled after TEDx events.
Speaker topics include: money matters, communication and gender, in-laws, countering busyness, sex and more.
I'll be speaking on sex. Hubba hubba.
It's free with free child care. Please reserve child care in advance. If you are in the Denver/Boulder/Longmont area I hope to see you there.
http://fpcboulder.org/WEDx/ or 303.402.6400 for more info and to reserve childcare
My Dad's (that's him to the left at Pebble Beach) birthday is December 24th. It's kinda hard to have a real special birthday when that guy named Jesus also had one the next day every year. :) I gave this to my dad on Father's Day a number of years ago. Thanks Dad. Happy Birthday.
2015 Wally recently died. Was sad to hear but he lived a long life with plenty of fun.
How Me and Seve whooped Wally and the Barefoot Boy: A tribute to my father
It was a gorgeous early June day near the Rocky Mountain foothills. I enjoyed the crispness of the air, the lack of humidity and the southern big sky view from my back deck. I thought it made a great day for grilling and wanted something top of the line so I headed to Tony’s Specialty Meats. At Tony’s I looked through the glass at swordfish, crab, salmon and continued moving to my left to the beef. I saw the Filet Mignon. $14.99 per lb. I gasped.
In the early eighties, my dad and I used to win filets playing in golf tournaments in Boonville, Missouri. They came in boxes of twenty. You won four boxes per person for 1st, three for 2nd, two for 3rd, one for 4th and maybe a dozen balls for 5th. I gasped at the price of filets in Tony’s because my wife and I used to use those filets for stew meat! In our twenties, in our naiveté, we were living the high life in our little rented red house on a slab.
Usually the primary competition from Boonville consisted of Wally and the Barefoot Boy. Wally was a forty-something, portly, pear-shaped man who liked his bourbon and coke when he played. He was easy going with a fluid, smooth golf swing.
The Barefoot Boy was a little younger and taller and shoeless and scarier. He was about 6’5” and strong. Imagine Hulk Hogan, his Fu-Manchu, with brown hair and dark prescription sunglasses. That was the Barefoot Boy. The Barefoot Boy put the F-U in Fu-Manchu. His drink of choice was Miller beer in 8 oz., pony size bottles. At some point the men in Boonville got tired of getting their butts kicked by him on the golf course so they passed a rule that shoes had to be worn by all players. He got the thinnest pair of moccasins he could find and kept on playing. Wally and the Barefoot Boy were both generally good company to tour the greens.