The internet can be a seductive arena. It can spin a web faster than Spiderman. Our thoughts and feelings seem to just flow through our fingertips onto the plastic keys and zoom through cyberspace to the eyes and heart of another. An instant connection can be formed in chatrooms, instant messages or emails. The perfect romance is then easily formed in one's mind with powerful emotions and maybe even a shared virtual sexual encounter. One can easily deny the damage this does to one's spouse since he/she didn't actually meet face to face or actually touch the other person. Is this really adultery?
Yep. In Not "Just Friends", Shirley Glass relates the feelings and emotions of the betrayed partner of a spouse having a cyber affair.
People who discover their partner's on-line emotional and sexual affairs are devastated. Their basic assumptions of honesty and trust have been shattered; the couples commitment to exclusivity has been broken. As far as the betrayed partner is concerned, there's little difference between adultery on the computer and adultery at a seedy motel on the interstate. The trauma is the same and recovery from it is just as slow. And there is an additional encumbrance: firm household rules must now be established for the use of the computer, which should be used only in a common family area, among other restrictions.
The internet is a wonderful tool and also a dangerous place. Guard your heart and protect your marriage. If you have crossed the line already, the first step is sharing this with your spouse and taking action to end the cyber relationship. Then begin the process of rebuilding real intimacy in all areas in your relationship.
