My Response to an Ugly Email or My Wife is a Beautiful Glorious Woman
I had not received an email like this before. It just makes me shake my head and wonder what gospel he knows.
Ben, Your marriage is not restored. Once your wife cheated on you, you have no marriage. It's over. It is a terrible thing to continue the charade. Turn her our(out?) and get a decent woman who will be faithful. You are just fooling yourself and playing a dishonest game. She is no good and deserves the worst. You are acting like a fool. The Almighty has a decent woman out there for you. Just have the courage to look.
I think he missed the part where we non-Jews are grafted into this whole scandalous grace-filled gospel.
Aye, she did cheat on me and it hurt tremendously. I am well acquainted with the feelings of why adultery was punishable by death in the Old Testament. When I found out about her affair, God showed me some of His heart in that law.
God also showed me other aspects of who He is. He showed me that I too deserved to be turned out. I was let into this party undeserved myself. I was a drunk. I missed my son's first birthday getting drunk at a golf course. I blasphemed. I didn't provide for my family. I lived a coward's life then.
I could fill up an entire blog of why I do not deserve this gracious love of Father.
And Father does love me. He does value me as His son. I am dearly beloved. Today, I try to live from the strength and courage He has filled me with. He showed me some of it when I called out to Him and quit drinking a few months later. He showed me more in dealing with the pain of adultery.
The foolish thing would have been to cut and run when I found out about the affair. The act of a coward would have been to send her out and to seek another woman. But God showed me that the woman with the Scarlet A is sometimes the most righteous woman in town. I saw God churn and soften my beloved's heart. I witnessed a miracle in her heart and in my own. The Almighty, because He has chosen her, and because she abides in Him has made her a decent woman. Nay, she is not a decent woman. She is beautiful and glorious. She is the bride of my youth. Father delights in her and sings over her. So do I.
This Kingdom Journey is not all about me. I do not claim to have the perseverance of Hosea. But I know something of his walk. If I thought only of what brought me the least pain in the moment I would have sent her out. I would have missed out on what God really means for marriage. I would not know the joy that he has set for us in this life between husband and wife. Suffering does really produce perseverance and perseverance really does produce character and character really does produce hope. Hope in Him. I walked with the bride of my youth through The Valley of Achor and we both entered into His Hope.
My Lord and Savior did not send women out. He castigated the men who thought themselves worthy of doing so. He chastised the ones who said thank God I am not like the sinner. He treated the hearts of women like treasures of great value instead of viewing women as a mere possession.
Jesus encountered the adulterous woman. He took his time. He played in the dirt for a while. He stood up and talked to the men who wanted to stone her and then he played in the dirt some more. He did not stone her. And then he offered her great words of hope. He conveyed to her that she was not her worst behavior. She was more than a woman who slept around. She could leave that life of sin and be more.
My Ann is more. Yes, she did sleep around. She is more. The pain of her sin has been used by God to make her even more beautiful and glorious. It is Father's great gift to me that I am permitted to be her husband.