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June 2005

An interview with Julie Anne Fidler, author of Adventures in Holy Matrimony

The Internet and blogs shrink the world.  One of the good friends I've made through the blogosphere is Julie Anne Fidler.  Her book, Adventures In Holy Matrimony: For Better or the Absolute Worst, is being released June 7th. 

Julie is honest and courageous.  After her wedding veil was removed her marriage was less than what she had dreamed about as a little girl.  Actually, it was worse than she ever could have imagined.  In this book Julie takes off the polite veils of Christian marriage and allows the reader into her personal and marital struggles. 

Julie kindly agreed to answer a few questions about her life and her new arrival...the book. 

1. Was writing a book harder or easier than you  thought?
It was harder, because the content of the book brought back some old 
feelings and memories that were painful.  My husband and I discovered we  had some
unresolved issues, and so there I was, writing a marriage book...and I  found
myself back in counseling.  Also, I had to write 40,000 words while  working a
full-time AND part-time job.  I wouldn't suggest that to anyone  who wants to
keep their sanity intact.

2. What did you learn  about yourself in the process?
That I need lessons in time management.  And also that it takes my  rear end
approximately thirty minutes to go completely numb when I'm sitting in  front
of the computer.

3. Are you an Alias fan? Did you like the ending this year? 
I work nights, so I don't even know what Alias is about.  Last  season, I
made my husband tape "24" for me and sometimes I managed to catch  "American
Idol" while I was at work.  It's hard to get really into a TV  show, though, when
you have a crazy schedule like mine.

4. What is the difference in your marriage now vs 2 years  ago?
Everything!  Two years ago, I really resented Scott, and I  think it's safe
to say he resented me.  There were so many issues  between us, and we just
lived with this horrible, heavy silence.  We  didn't even fight that much, but
when we did...well, we broke a lot of  stuff!  But mostly there was just silence
and denial.  It was like we  had become impersonal roommates.  Really, so much
has changed I couldn't  even begin to list the differences.  But I'd say the
biggest thing is that  we talk about everything now.  We don't let anger and
hurt build up between  us.  We're imperfect people in an imperfect marriage,
and we still struggle  and hurt.  The difference is, now we get help right away
when things  seem impassible.  We don't let it build up to the point where
we're  googling "cheap divorce" on the Internet.  (Yes, I did  that!)

5. What do you admire about your husband?
His kindness, his compassion for people who are hurting, his sense of  humor,
his absolute trust in God no matter what the circumstances...  Scott  really
is God's purest example of His love to me.  He's a very positive  person.  He
can see the good in everything.

6. What's the  best movie you've seen lately and what did you like about it?
We just saw Star Wars 3 last weekend.  I'm not huge into Star Wars,  because
it was a little before my time, but I have to say this new one just blew  me
away with the visual effects.  Also, I recently rented "Divine Secrets  Of The
Ya-Ya Sisterhood" and I could relate to so much of it.  It really  moved me,
in addition to making me laugh.  It's one of my new  favorites.

7. Who are your favorite authors, fiction and  non? 
I really, really love Alice Sebold.  She's the author of the  bestseller "The
Lovely Bones," which was an awesome book, but I also loved her  memoir,
"Lucky."  I'm also a fan of Wally Lamb, Aimee Bender, Lisa Samson,  Shaunti
Feldhahn, Brennan Manning, C.S. Lewis, etc.   

8. When was the last time you rode a  roller coaster?
You're gonna laugh when I tell you this, but the last time was about 10 
years ago.  It was at King's Dominion and it was a coaster called Top  Gun.  I'm
so lame!

9. Since you live so close have you ever  visited Gettysburg?
Is the sky blue???  We are frequent Gettysburg visitors!  My  husband is
really into history and the Civil War, so we make about 8 trips there  every
spring & summer, and we take our 14-year-old nephew with us  sometimes.   

10. What question would you like to answer and answer  it?
You didn't ask me what my favorite flavor of ice cream is, and I think it's 
integral that people know that I'm a huge chocolate chip cookie dough fan!

Thanks Julie.  BTW, Julie's husband, Scott is in the hospital dealing with some serious hernias and they would appreciate your prayers.